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When it comes to Love, Choose someone Kind.

Elephant Journal
7 min readNov 11, 2021

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Image: elephantjournal/Instagram

“I will never be able to do or be everything you want, nor vice versa, but I’d like to think we can be the sort of people who will dare to tell each other who we really are. The alternative is silence and lies, which are the real enemies of love.” ~ Alain de Botton

Whenever men who are getting to know me ask what I’m looking for in a partner, my first inclination is always to say, “I want someone who is kind.”

I’ve been single for the greater majority of my life, with long-term relationships that could be counted on a few fingers, and some flings every so often.

I don’t claim that being alone is better than being in a coupled relationship. Both are great in their own way. But what I am certain about is that the greatest loneliness we can ever experience is the one that comes from physically being with someone, yet feeling alienated, isolated, and alone while the bubble of our habitual stories claustrophobically suffocates us deeper and deeper into our cocoon — until we can barely remember how to breathe.

I know. I’ve experienced that feeling in my own family whilst growing up and later into my adulthood in so many emotionally unavailable relationships, where I’ve happily accepted breadcrumbs of…

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Elephant Journal
Elephant Journal

Written by Elephant Journal

Elephant is an independent, mindful media dedicated to sharing the good life beyond the choir, and to all those who didn’t yet know they give a care.

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